• Sarah Bogdanski

Giving Presence

Updated: Feb 8, 2020

NYC Life Coach

Well, here we are – in the middle of the best time of the year – the holidays – which I love because I get to celebrate the season with the people I hold nearest and dearest to me. It’s joyful, merry, and bright.

I’ve been thinking about the perfect gifts to give the people closest to me. And this year I want to put extra thought into it…

As I’ve pondered what everyone in my life needs or wants more of, I realize it’s not something that can be wrapped in a pretty gift box with a bow or stuck in a festive stocking with other little goodies.

Holiday gifts aside, I need to give everyone in my life more presence. And not because it’s a nice to have, but because it’s a must have for a meaningful relationship.

I’ll admit it. I’m on my iPhone ALL THE TIME. From the minute I wake up until the minute I fall asleep, it’s on me or near me, and I am afraid to tally up the actual minutes (or hours!) I am on it.

We live in a digital, social (media), and a tech-centered world. Since I work with people from all over the country, I am constantly on my device. And from a social perspective, I’m always connected. It’s a big part of my life and my business.

The truth is, I need to kick this nasty habit of being glued to my phone because it’s a non-verbal way of communicating a very hurtful message to people. It’s saying:

“You’re not important.”

I think of instances I've witnessed (or participated in) the communication of this impactful, yet negative message. Does any of the following apply to your behavior?

• You’re out to dinner, and you have your phone out on the table. You start checking it once you get a notification of a new message.

• You’re lying in bed with your S.O. at the end of a long day, and you’re scrolling through your phone instead of spending these quiet moments with your better half.

• You’re in a meeting at work, and you check your phone the entire time a colleague is presenting something to the group.

• You’re hanging with your best pals having a Netflix and chill night. Except you keep checking your phone instead of enjoying this experience with them.

This list goes on I’m sure!

And while I will be giving tangible gifts this year, I’m going to make every effort to give my gift of presence too. And not just for the holiday, but for always. And this may mean creating some boundaries, like not having the phone out during mealtime, or a “no phone near bed” rule so I can’t grab it first thing on a Saturday morning when I should be enjoying sleeping in a bit and cuddling with my main squeeze.

Could you be receiving more presence in your life? If so, you should gently remind your loved ones – because they may not be aware of how hurtful the behavior is. And if you could give the gift of presence more, think of some ways you could do this starting today. Share below!

#Relationships #Mindfulness #Presence

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