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PREGNANCY LOSS

SUPPORT

INTRODUCTION

 

As someone who's gone through the heartbreak of a devastating pregnancy loss (not one, but two), and had to move through the transition from my old life to my new one as someone that would forever live with this tragic event as a part of their life, I know first-hand how difficult it can be. I suffered a miscarriage at 7 weeks, and also terminated a very much-wanted pregnancy at 23 weeks. 

I went through my own process and learned and experienced so much along the way. Now that I've gone through my own healing experience, I want to help others who are also coping with pregnancy loss as they navigate this "new normal". As of 2019, I am offering support for women and/or their partners who need support as they heal from pregnancy loss.

 

MY STORY

 

At 22 weeks of pregnancy, during a routine scan, I learned that my unborn daughter Lyra, had multiple severe heart defects. This came as a total and complete shock to not only my husband Luis and me, but also to all the doctors. The pregnancy had been smooth and normal up until this point. I had even done invasive genetic testing earlier in my pregnancy (because of my age) and everything was normal there, too.

I'll never forget that dark, sad day. After learning about what these defects would mean for our daughter's life, my husband and I made a decision we never thought we'd be faced in making. We decided to take on the lifelong pain of losing our daughter so that she would never feel any pain at all - and only know my warmth she'd existed in for the past 5 months. We terminated the pregnancy and it was the by far the most difficult experience of my life.

Beyond the physical and emotional pain that came with this decision, I knew I had a long road ahead of me to truly heal from this experience. Looking back, it was quite the journey (and I believe will be a life-long journey). My life looked completely different now, and there was a cocktail of emotions I felt at any given time.

Friends and family were extremely supportive, but I felt terribly isolated. No one knew (not even my husband) what exactly I was going through. Add to that all of the fluctuating hormones and changes my body started to experience. I felt like I had to navigate so many situations that suddenly felt different and confusing, such as:

  • My relationship with my husband and how we could best support each other through this loss

  • Going back to work and being productive

  • Social events - even small ones like dinner with friends and the discomfort I felt in what used to be very normal situations

  • Who I could rely on to listen to vs. those that offered unhelpful (yet well-meaning) advice

  • How to physically recover and the changes my body was going through

  • What my triggers were and how to handle them when they popped up out of no where

  • Who I could relate to - did anyone else I know go through this?

  • Navigating the fact that so many of my friends were pregnant and having babies (oh, and all the baby showers, too.)

  • Getting clarity, answers, and figuring out next steps in the fertility journey

  • Societal and political culture surrounding abortion

  • How to manage dates like - the due date, Mother's Day, Father's Day, (and pretty much every holiday)

  • How to honor my daughter's life on her due date and beyond

  • Who my "healers" would be (it was an extensive selection of different people - and places)

  • Self care practices and rituals - what could I do to feel better inside and out

  • Spirituality and religion and how it impacted this experience

  • How to create my "new normal" as a woman who has suffered a tragic loss of a much wanted pregnancy

PREGNANCY LOSS 1:1 COACHING

For women (or their partners) who have experienced a loss such as miscarriage, stillbirth, abortion/medical termination of pregnancy, I am here to listen and support you on your journey to healing. 

Before we get started, we'll have a free consult to get to know each other and see if we are a good fit to work together. I'll want to understand where you are in your healing journey and if coaching (vs. therapy) is an appropriate step to take. 

From there, we will create a plan of what our coaching relationship will look like, which I will tailor to you based on your needs and goals.